Zayn Malik has admitted he’s been ‘talking out loud’ to his late bandmate Liam Payne following his tragic death aged 31, as he grapples with the complicated grief due to their sometimes tricky relationship. 

In a frank tribute, he acknowledged their ups and downs, saying the pair had ‘butted heads’, but thanked Liam for ‘helping him through his darkest times’ and poignantly said he’d hoped for a chance to rebuild their bond in the future. 

Zayn, 31, said he’d ‘lost a brother’ and had always ‘respected’ Liam as he broke his silence following the singer’s death in Buenos Aires, Argentina on Wednesday evening when he fell from a hotel balcony. 

Malik, who quit One Direction in 2015 citing ‘stress’ and stating he wanted to be a ‘normal 22-year-old’, had an up and down relationship with Liam – who called his bandmate a ‘d***’ when he appeared on Logan Paul’s podcast in 2022. 

In the same interview, he also spoke about a physical altercation where a bandmate threw him against a wall, and recently Liam’s ex-fiancée Maya Henry alleged that it was Zayn. 

Taking to Instagram on Thursday evening, Zayn wrote: ‘Liam I have found myself talking out loud to you, hoping you can hear me, I can’t help but think selfishly that there was so many more conversations for us to have in our lives.

‘I never got to thank you for supporting me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

‘When I was missing home as a 17-year-old kid you would always be there with a positive outlook and reassuring smile and let me know you were my friend and that I was loved.

‘Even though you were younger than me you were always more sensible than me., you were headstrong, opinionated and gave no f**ks about telling people they were wrong.

‘Even though we butted heads because of this a few times, I always secretly respected you for it.’

Zayn famously left the band in 2015, and in 2016, he said he was ‘the closest with Liam’ when he was asked what his relationship with his former bandmates was like.

‘I’m still probably the closest to Liam. We talk on the phone. He congratulated me on my single. Which was nice. I congratulated him on his Brit Award,’ he said at the time.

However various tensions were revealed in the band after Liam claimed that he once got into a physical altercation with one of his bandmates during a very heated exchange during a podcast interview in 2022. 

While Liam declined to name them Liam’s ex-fiancée Maya Henry, who dated the star on and off for four years, revealed it was Zayn who allegedly threw him against a wall.

Zayn has never spoken out about the incident to confirm what happened. 

Meanwhile in the same interview on Logan Paul’s podcast Liam branded Zayn a ‘d***’ and discussed a post by Zayn’s then-girlfriend Gigi Hadid about how her partner was ‘respectful’.

The late star said there were ‘many reasons why I dislike Zayn’ but that he will ‘always be on his side’ because of Zayn’s alleged tough upbringing.

Building bridges he later apologised for the comments in 2023. 

Opening up about his 100-day rehabilitation stay in a Louisiana facility in a YouTube video Liam referenced the podcast as he remarked: ‘I think for me, a lot of what I said just came from the wrong place.

‘I was so angry at what was going on around me that instead of taking a look inwards I decided to take it outwards.’

Liam thought his anger stemmed from frustrations with his career and, rather than reflecting privately, he took his feelings out on others. He said: ‘I want to apologise for that.’ 

Zayn, along with Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, and Niall Horan, were apparently there for Liam in his time of need.

Although he referenced their disagreements, Zayn’s tribute showed his respect for Liam as he continued: ‘When it came to the music Liam, you were the most qualified in every sense, I knew nothing in comparison, I was a novice child, with no experience and you were already a professional.

‘I was always happy to know, no matter what happened on stage we could always rely on you to know which way to steer the ship next.